25+ Funny Horse Names

If you’re looking to name your horse, or if you just want a good chuckle, we’ve laid out 25+ funny horse names for you to horse around with!

Horse racing can be a serious sport.

For people who love these types of races, they really get into the adrenaline and competition that comes with it

Which is one of the reasons why giving your horse a ridiculous name can be hilarious when announced over the racing commentary.

List of Funny Horse Names

1

​Ha ha ​​​​ha

If you want to get the crowd going, make it seem like the commentator is laughing!

2

​Hoofhearted

​This name may not seem hilarious at first glance… but say it out loud and you’ll get where we’re coming from.

3

​Sarah Jessica Parker

“Here comes Sarah Jessica Parker galloping down the track!”

4

​Maythehorsebe-withyou

​For all you Star Wars fans out there, this one is for you.

5

​Oh No, It’s My Mother-In-Law!

​If this horse name is said aloud in the right tone, it could be a real rib cracker! What’s more terrifying than this?

6

​Neigh Good

​Although this may not be a name for a winner, it’s definitely a cute name for a horse that isn’t the fastest in the pack.

7

​Oil Beef Hooked

​It’s widely known that commentators are practiced in speaking quickly. Try saying this name out loud, as fast as you can… you may end up saying it twice!

8

​Furpants

​Well – it’s true! Have you ever seen a horse that WASN’T wearing fur pants? This one is endearing and… accurate.

9

​Shakalakaboom-boom

​Instead of reading out the horse’s name, the commentator will seem like they just had a brain-freeze moment. Although in all honesty, this horse name does sort of roll off the tongue! You may be looking to keep this name around after the race!

10

Juicy Lucy

For all the well-fed horses out there, give them a name that they can strut around with proudly. It’ll also help her stand out well in the races!

11

​Passing Wind

​Out of all the funny horse names, this one is for winners – and for a good chuckle as well.

12

​Junkinthetrunk

​This one is for all the big-bootied horses out there. It’s cute and will give the audience a chuckle!

13

​AARRRRRR

​Can you imagine the commentator pronouncing this “name” at the race?

14

​Norfolk Enchanted

​Try saying it fast!

15

​Hannibal Lecter

​Can you imagine people’s faces when they think Hannibal Lecter is running around the track after the horses?

16

​Hoarse

​For the horses who’ve lost their voices, they can be given a name any horse would be proud of!

17

​Houdini

​Hopefully, your horse doesn’t take after the original Houdini or you’ll have some trouble on your hands. It’ll have the audience hoping your horse wasn’t named Houdini for a reason…

18

​Chestnut Napper

​While Chestnut is a common name for a horse, Chestnut Napper sure isn’t. The ideal situation would be if your Chestnut Napper was racing right behind another horse named Chestnut!

19

​What About Spaghetti?

​This name is completely and utterly random. There is no reason why it should be funny, but guaranteed, someone will find it hilarious.

​20

​Buck teeth

​​Give your horse a name that shows off its best features.

​21

​Hot Dog

​If your horse is a bit of a show-off, this can be a cut and apt name.

22

​Your Cat

​This may not get everyone, but if at least one person thinks that their cat is running along the track with the other horses — even for a second – it will be completely worth it.

23

​Sheez Got Sass

​Give your horse a name that suits her! I’m sure she’ll gladly show her colors on the track.

24

​Donald Trump

​We’re not sure which one is scarier: Hannibal Lector prancing around the track… or this guy.

25

​Apontoon

​If your horse is particularly larger breed, this is a great name for it. What’s even better is imagining the looks people will give when they think a large boat is coming around the track

26

​Odor in the Court

​To get a combination of laughter and fright out of the audience, get the commentator to announce a rather unfortunate (yet inevitable) situation on the track.

Funny Horse Names: At a Glance

For all of you horse owners, don’t take these suggestions TOO seriously. We don’t think any horse deserves to be called any of these names for life — unless, of course, you think the horse really does deserve it.

This is a great way to spice up the average horse race and bring some life and laughter into the entertainment of the sport.

​Try out one of these funny horse names at the next race and let us know what kind of reaction you get! We’d love to hear about it.


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